Monday, October 5, 2009

The Secret of Maintaining the Fire of Love in Relationships

Maintaining the Fire of Love in love relationships is no longer as difficult as it used to.

"Hey Mister! Which way is it to _____? Do we turn left? or right?" Have you asked this question along the road lately? It's normal to get lost from time to time. We just need to know how to get back on track.

We ask for directions about almost everything. But in asking directions in love relationships, we need to agree first on how to name the streets.
Photo Credit: 'Everywhere but here?' by Will Ockenden

Studies show that women, typically, don't have trouble asking for directions. Most men don't ask for directions, thinking, "My map is enough!" or "This manual is enough!" A map is important in everything, including love relationships.

I'm a man too, and I can relate with the male mindset I just described. Most often, men make it to the destination their own way, without the whole world knowing where they're going -- because of a map. A map important, to man and woman alike.

Without a map, we are in big trouble. Still, that situation only heightens our ingenuity. We have our telescope and compass, right? And we can smell the prey from afar and know where it is, simply by raising our forefinger and sensing the direction of the air.

But when you're expected to produce results as soon as possible, expediting one's learning curve is always a good thing.

A lot of us become the prey when it comes to love relationships with the opposite sex. It's a good thing that someone has plotted the relationship map for us. Relationships is now a navigable territory ... for men and women alike.

If you take the time to read the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and apply what it teaches, then you would know what I mean.

Allow me to give you preview of that book using my own imagery.

What Chapman calls "love language," let me call "love tank" for the sake of imagery. We are all created with five of these "love tanks" attached to the beating machine in our chest, called the "heart." The heart draws "fuel" from primarily from one of these tanks.

The primary tank differs from person to person. The rest of the tanks are secondary and tertiary ones.

Giving love effectively is about filling up the primary love tank of your partner. This is a challenge for most of us because we normally fill up the love tank through which we draw our own. But your primary love tank may be different from your partner!

Imagine yourself filling up Love Tank B the whole time, while your partner draws love from her Love Tank C. Then imagine your partner filling up your Love Tank C when you're drawing love from Love Tank B!

Get the picture?

This is what's happening when you're expressing love all the time, yet your partner scarcely gets it and you feel that your love is not well reciprocated.

The love tanks or love languages are:
  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Receiving Gifts
  5. Quality Time
Which of these is your primary love tank?

Which one is that of your partner?


Live a prosperous life!


CoachMarvin.com
FANNING THE FLAMES OF EXCELLENCE IN PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS

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